I’m worried..

 

I'm worried..

I'm worried that if you don't hear my voice, you'll forget the love that it bears when it calls your name..

I'm worried that when I see you next, you may not recognize me with my face torn by our separation..

I'm worried that people will know what a gem I've found, and they'll fall in love with you too..

I'm worried the rain gods will pour down to hide my tears, so much that our cities would flood..

I'm worried that my insanity would drive me when your love doesn't temper it down..

I'm worried the smell, that allure that draws me to you, will change in time..

I'm worried that the heart that echoes your name in each beat, will stop sometime..

I'm worried the distance will make you forget these times that I've loved you true..

I'm worried that time won't let you forget the distances we've made sometime back..

I'm worried if before my life returns, my breath shall collapse to a stop..

…

Shame

 

It's a shame I cannot tell you
Of the things I tell myself-
The restless dreams,
The hopeless yearn
For unforetold days.

It's a shame I cannot share
Freak joys that are abound-
The littleness of the big,
The largeness of the small
And our lives thereupon.

It's a shame you will not know
This ode I write of you-
The miseries of hearts,
The joyful dances too
In broken entwine.

It's a shame you cannot say
More than you do now-
The flicker of approval,
The ticker of skipped beat
In a quelled heart.

It's a shame we cannot be
Otherly to written fates-
The sameness of tomorrow,
The newness of past days
And our grind amidst.

…

Dare..

 

 

Dare to dream beyond the moment at hand
To stand through, strong, and perhaps just stand.
There is none to hold, nor stand by your side,
Fight alone, if the gods must claim your hide.

Dare to go beyond the well-lit roads,
Beyond the paths that draw the hordes.
Lost perhaps, but on such walks alone,
You shall find your voice; true and own.

Dare to fight for the ones you hold dear,
For love can perhaps banish their fear.
But should you fail, and their fear takes over,
Pick your self up; and heal, perhaps slower.

Dare to fall; in love, at work - just to fall
And yet not wiping off your smile at all.
For tears only weaken the soul you housed,
And in one go, blazing spirits are doused.

Dare, if you must, to smile again,
Conceal every ounce of withheld pain.
He shall guard your heart, ever steadfast,
For His soul will live on, when he has passed.

…

There is perhaps nothing stronger than the human spirit. And yet, there seems to be nothing as fickle as the human mind. They are constantly at war, these two. And usually, we let the mind win. We let the world get the better of us, we let the rules dictate our conduct, we let our egos clash with our emotions, we let our love clash with our expectations, we let our dreams clash with reality.. To dare to let conduct, emotion, dreams and love move you.. And perhaps then, you have dared to live..

Memory

 

 

Beyond the sheen of a hundred faces,
Your light to me each moment races,
It wasn't as hard; this falling in love,
But I misjudged the plans he made above.

I miss you so much it hurts to breathe
Each moment;  your voice, words I need.
A lucid recall of the walk we shared,
Silent pauses, that two souls bared.

I only do what the moment will speak
Though often it echoes of my will, now weak.
But trust my love, for I do this to see you
Once more in memories that senses will brew.

A perfume that lilts across the room,
Free flowing hair that flows like a loom,
Your shy eyes, blinking in rapid light,
A smile that radiated day in the night.

Those hands I yearn to hold just once
The wind in your hair on your walk, your runs.
The cheeks that blush, askance for a kiss
The nose that cringes; brings upon me, bliss.

Only memories I hold, as I push you once more
Our lives, my weakness; forced knees on the floor.
A million reasons that see us drift apart,
But just one that binds me to your pristine heart.

Separate, we must, but mind only this-
Each moment of joy will only you miss,
When a gentle gust brushes your cheek,
Know that it is my affection meek.

When a small smile radiates across your face,
My prayer, my love, are trying to keep pace.
If you cry, and the corners roll a pearl tear
I cry here too; out of love, out of  fear.

I cannot forget you, I will not even try
I will not dismiss our love as a lie.
For it moves me beyond any words will know,
And my love, my dear, is more than I will show.

Beyond the sheen of a hundred faces,
Your light to me each moment races,
It wasn't as hard; this falling in love,
But I misjudged the plans he made above.

…

Stranger

 

 

If you could only see my day start in your thought,

You would spare a moment to do the same.

If only my staid eyes did once get caught,

You would ask to find out my first name.

 

If a moment’s passing tide should stir your mind,

You could fathom my moment’s pain.

If a breeze should graze your neck from behind,

You would bless all the wishes I’d lain.

 

If in random beat, you find a step coy,

You could sense my wonder watching.

If just the sound of your name brings joy,

You should see my heart oft leaping.

 

If only our worlds were not set earlier,

You would know me for who I am, truly.

If only this thought, were in life lovelier,

You would possibly love my love duly.

…

Under

 

 

 

What real visions do the moments show
When perchance I recall your face,
Knowing, what the common do not yet know,
Succumbed souls to an inglorious race.
I watch from beneath the earth, that has me
Warm, staid; only dust below the dust.
Lost souls that clamber into a mediocrity;
Even of resilient steel, now gather rust.

I care not much for the travails of the lost
Or the journeys they make with willful glee,
For only one can be worth the price it has cost,
The price of her future; the will to be free.
Death, just, has snatched me from the one,
Who made all the efforts worthwhile seem,
She awakes in the cold, shudders in the sun;
Praying for the break of this morbid dream.

From beneath the sod that covers me whole,
My prudent heart reasons this turn.
In wonder of this turn and fate's cruel role,
That I lie here lifeless; and yet I burn.
For when the burn stops and I shall be free,
The Gods will guard you, till your heart will tame.
Knowing the short term of an eternity,
Eternal, my joy; if you should call my name.

…

Life gives you chances to take choices for granted, Death is more just..its nearly the same to all. We are so involved in the rat race that consumes us, that we forget the ones we live for.. This poem is about that perspective..

Call

 

 

Why do the eyes seek thee across the horde,

And the heart rebels in silent discord

With the mind that reasons, a hundred instead,

The fool has exhausted paths once tread.

 

Why do I recall each smile as if anew,

As the senses smile, in a weak sinew?

Wine has lost its savor,and the ink its zest

For blended in the potions is a violent unrest.

 

Call out to the eyes that seek only to find,

The ones that give sight and will yet blind,

Call out to the arms that yearn to be yours

And lie in silent wait through the hours.

...

Weak

 

 

Moments in time, when your hand I figured

Would hold mine someday, if fate hath favored,

Were today jolted from their reckless abandon,

And dreams now seem to be more in wanton.

 

As I saw the sight that much to my surprise

Did not only blind; from hurt, from despise,

But hurt was the heart, and jaded the spark,

For how does one see when the world turns dark?

 

I ask not for much, but your hand in mine,

But forgot the suitors that have raced me to the line,

This moment has simply passed me by, still

I stand bereft here, of strength, of will.

 

…

Return

 

 

Eyes shut tight, all I see is a blurred speck

I can still feel your breath, warm, upon my neck.

I need you to cup my eyes with your hands,

Asking me again to guess your name.

Only one pair would ever take that chance,

But now I guess it won’t be the same.

 

I need to feel those eyes smiling back to see,

Like that was the first time they ever saw me.

To look at the lines your eyes will make,

Curling on both ends; two playful nooks

Empower the real in our world, once fake

Return them to me, those rapture looks.

 

And when the night has set upon the day,

Return to me the pain, that tonight will stay

Watching you leave, but in hope of the next

Morn, that only you make in a twilight hour,

Return to me, even if it were just a pretext,

Or just return my dreams, my love, my power.

 

…

The Answer

 

 

 

Beyond all else, I hate the odd feel in my gut,

When your visage I recall, whilst stuck in a rut,

I hate that I cannot move on with life,

While the joy of us is, with agony, rife.

 

Could a bond so complex sum a love so clear

That every waking moment I would want you here

By my side; watching, going about your chores

Free, yet together with this unfathomable force.

 

For when I sit in silent hours, memories play a cruel game;

Trembling in the silent air, is the sweet sound of your name

Like a musical chord that broke the silence but once,

And awaits for long, your response – hours,weeks..months.

 

…

Push

 

 

Where have we come, where has faith lead?

That our words of love can only cause pain.

To hurt her I venture not, but instead,

Protecting us; I tried, so  far in vain.

 

She sought a stability, I knew i could give,

But somewhere the plot just fell on its face,

Not try as we must to make this bond live,

As time enrolls us in an unwilling race.

 

My love for her is strong, much stronger today,

Far; yet she calls out when I have nothing left,

The fight in me she embodies, shows me a way

Even as I walk on paths that have now cleft.

…

Distant Valentine

 

 

Memories worth a lifetime are now mine to keep,

Silent pauses shared on short walks,

Unspoken, yes, hours of talks.

For in me is alacrity embedded so deep,

Clear morns that wake to your sound,

All else, lost; when you I’ve found.

 

Will distance matter? Will words not do

Justice to the space in between?

If perchance that could have been,

Why would my words describe only you?

No face, unlike yours will ever calm

Or soothe my pain; a panacean balm.

 

I see your eyes seek mine across the crowd,

Amidst your merriment, overtakes a shy

Hidden girl, who seeks to find her guy,

I do not measure up – the message is loud;

And clear, much to my gifted regret,

Is the curse, simply, to never forget.

 

Walk if you must, but don’t you run away,

So I may see you for long as you go.

Not a passing phase, I hope you know

That your naughty glint will always hold sway.

As you go, with you will go my light,

And wishful prayers in the dark of night.

 

…

Farewell love

 

 

I hate forever to bid you adieu,

Not right now, not like this;

Yet watch I must as paths anew

Call you toward greater bliss.

 

Two score days will I see you more,

And then your visage is all that’s left.

Your name will be one by the door,

The one I’ll look for; sad, bereft.

 

Its not sad that you would go;

For despite my insanity (some),

I did but always know

Someday this had to come.

 

Its the anguish instead I feel

Knowing I never told you all,

That what I am is every bit real,

Short, but love in no way small.

 

As you will move away this time

Your return is all I seek to find,

A fool, yes, worth every dime;

Till then will wait - my heart, my mind.

 

…

Stronger by the mile

 

 

Miles run behind me, my path is ablaze,

They break me, my speed; your memories, your face.

Hours on the road alone, not a moment of solitude,

Seeking to bind shattered pieces of fortitude.

 

With every surge, machine and heart compete,

Faster with each turn, run rivers of concrete,

Greenery whizzes past, I cannot a thought spare,

Lest nature catch up, showering pretentious care.

 

Two friends share my burden, the road and my steed,

Echoes of warnings and wisdom I never did heed,

They stand by me quiet now, not a word all this while,

Growing silent and wiser, with every passing mile.

 

I run out of misery, but the road never ends,

Complete in support, till time made amends,

Resolute in spirit now, pain does not show,

Mile after mile, wisdom and strength grow.

 

…

SDMIMD

I wrote this poem 2 weeks back on our Director’s insistence. Too bored to send it out individually to the ones who asked for it, so posting it here. IMD’ites, do tell me what you think of it! (if you’re reading this anyway)

 

 

Sylvan trees here stand by the tread,

Standing by the hearth of her welcome bed,

Pristine is her manner, calm is her face,

Robed in grey, she stands in grace.

 

At her heart of power sit minds of vision,

Sagacious, strong, they work in unison,

Further still now, stands her talent table,

Open to all souls, willing and able.

 

Teeming yet quiet lies her wise mind,

Books of all ages, adorning bind,

Spines bear prints of fingers that ran over,

Desks let time pass by much slower.

 

The canteen bustle, the rattle of plates,

Unaware of the hand dealt out by our fates,

Seeking wisdom found in books borrowed,    ##(Borrowed lines from one of my prev poems!)

Over piping cuppas, and minds harrowed.

 

She stands by it all, ever unfazed,

In her grey gown, that greenery has laced,

She is my alma mater, my guiding light,

Now and forever more, I’ll be a IMD’ite!

 

…

Mother

 

 

Bruised knees, hurt ego, teary eyes;

He sat still, wheels still spinning by.

Hurried feet rush to the sounds of cries,

Adorning affection and a concerned sigh.

 

Wisdom drops collect, assurance flows,

She worries herself, her image has bled.

Calm is her face, but anxiety shows,

Her clothes now bear wet dabs of red.

 

Calmer but hurting, his cries turn sobs,

She strokes his hair gently, wipes his tears,

He looks up with a love, that age oft robs.

She beams, he has faced the first of his fears.

 

Her fallen angel rises, limps on his feet,

Lips pursed; she walks by, feeling his pain,

He will be wary, but will not retreat,

Stronger, God forbid, if he falls again.

 

Her kind words will fade out one day,

His adult heart will let them through,

But if he falls from a failed belay,

He will dust off and rise anew.

 

…

With lots of love to Ma,

Thank you for the testing wisdom and fierce strength you have always provided through your gentle love.

Happy Mothers Day!

…

Remember me..

Remember me, he said,
When the noise of crowds is all you hear,
When people are close, but none too near,
When no wisdom’s found in books borrowed,
Or nights are cold and dreams harrowed,
Remember me.

Remember me, he said,
When seasons pass by in lyrical dance,
When a lone breeze puts your heart in trance,
When through the blinds comes a spring’s first morn,
And you hug him tight with a vivid yawn,
Remember me.

Remember me, he said,
When flirty wafts tease your hair,
When a random paper somersaults mid-air,
When your footsteps whistle on slippery floors,
When you tremble at night from heavens roars,
Remember me.

The love we find, and the pain we hide,
Cannot outlast the bludgeons of tide,
Wounded by time and blinded in part,
Love now totters in an aching heart,
Time will teach you once more to see,
But until then my love, remember me…


…