It wasn't the cold bullet
That pierced my heart,
Or the fact that you shot it;
It wasn't the motive,
The madness or the mart,
Whence you'd once bought it.
Many a blood drop had I spilled,
To see you spill but none.
Many a mean soul had I killed,
If fate cruelly had some fun.
It was none of these I died from,
None had potency, quite none ;
If only I'd heard the wise, some,
If only you weren't the one
...
It leaps in me and grows in time,
Your heart; for now and ever is mine,
I guard it well, I do my part,
I guard your heart, with just my heart.
It grows each day, this heart oft swells,
It makes more room for yours; here dwells.
Break it, you may; I'll take that risk,
I'll trade my beat for a beat more brisk.
Push me away, and I'll stand in line,
I'll wait for years, I'll bide my time.
Tear me apart, I'll smile through the pain,
I'll rebuild our house, you'll love me again.
We live only twice- as I, and as we,
I'll await our second union to be.
You walk away now; I'll mark your retreat
And when you return, my heartache will fleet,
Sleep will return, I seek it only here;
I seek it to forget you aren't yet near.
Yet.
…
I have moved on, and more so
Today, than I shall let you know
Ever. There is no more any affection;
Only pity - my own for my own affliction.
I no longer love you like the light of the day,
No more do I dance with the winds that sway.
I no longer think of you when I first awake
Or reminisce fondly the faces you would make.
No more is there allure of black hair radiant,
No more are words innocuous, belligerent.
No, I do not love you any more and yes,
Today this much I will dare confess-
I do not think of you when there's a breeze,
When someone calls me, I do not yet freeze
In hope, that somehow it might be you
Calling me rare, in those fond names, few.
I think no more of your head on my chest
Laying in moments that time had blessed,
I no longer yearn for those starry night skies
Or the gaze that was similar from thine eyes.
There is no more love, I do not regret,
Only attempts; futile in trying to forget.
No love, I do not remember you,
And yet, somehow cursed, I still do.
..
Beyond the sheen of a hundred faces,
Your light to me each moment races,
It wasn't as hard; this falling in love,
But I misjudged the plans he made above.
I miss you so much it hurts to breathe
Each moment; your voice, words I need.
A lucid recall of the walk we shared,
Silent pauses, that two souls bared.
I only do what the moment will speak
Though often it echoes of my will, now weak.
But trust my love, for I do this to see you
Once more in memories that senses will brew.
A perfume that lilts across the room,
Free flowing hair that flows like a loom,
Your shy eyes, blinking in rapid light,
A smile that radiated day in the night.
Those hands I yearn to hold just once
The wind in your hair on your walk, your runs.
The cheeks that blush, askance for a kiss
The nose that cringes; brings upon me, bliss.
Only memories I hold, as I push you once more
Our lives, my weakness; forced knees on the floor.
A million reasons that see us drift apart,
But just one that binds me to your pristine heart.
Separate, we must, but mind only this-
Each moment of joy will only you miss,
When a gentle gust brushes your cheek,
Know that it is my affection meek.
When a small smile radiates across your face,
My prayer, my love, are trying to keep pace.
If you cry, and the corners roll a pearl tear
I cry here too; out of love, out of fear.
I cannot forget you, I will not even try
I will not dismiss our love as a lie.
For it moves me beyond any words will know,
And my love, my dear, is more than I will show.
Beyond the sheen of a hundred faces,
Your light to me each moment races,
It wasn't as hard; this falling in love,
But I misjudged the plans he made above.
…
Why do the eyes seek thee across the horde,
And the heart rebels in silent discord
With the mind that reasons, a hundred instead,
The fool has exhausted paths once tread.
Why do I recall each smile as if anew,
As the senses smile, in a weak sinew?
Wine has lost its savor,and the ink its zest
For blended in the potions is a violent unrest.
Call out to the eyes that seek only to find,
The ones that give sight and will yet blind,
Call out to the arms that yearn to be yours
And lie in silent wait through the hours.
...
Beyond all else, I hate the odd feel in my gut,
When your visage I recall, whilst stuck in a rut,
I hate that I cannot move on with life,
While the joy of us is, with agony, rife.
Could a bond so complex sum a love so clear
That every waking moment I would want you here
By my side; watching, going about your chores
Free, yet together with this unfathomable force.
For when I sit in silent hours, memories play a cruel game;
Trembling in the silent air, is the sweet sound of your name
Like a musical chord that broke the silence but once,
And awaits for long, your response – hours,weeks..months.
…
To hazed illusions that blind the eye,
To false glories that have left me dry,
To pricked consciences that hide the hurt,
To shallow lies that have concealed effort,
To dreams dreamt with the woken mind,
To memories the heart won’t leave behind,
To the truth that beyond all else will stand,
To the misery that stays when the rest disband,
To the masked faces that fake true smiles,
To her voice that calls me across the miles,
To everything I am, and till date, was,
To everyone I loved; I bid byes, alas!
This day I die to take birth the next,
Character lures me in sinful pretext,
Molting the skin that has come to be me,
Perhaps tomorrow I shall yet be free.
…
Where have we come, where has faith lead?
That our words of love can only cause pain.
To hurt her I venture not, but instead,
Protecting us; I tried, so far in vain.
She sought a stability, I knew i could give,
But somewhere the plot just fell on its face,
Not try as we must to make this bond live,
As time enrolls us in an unwilling race.
My love for her is strong, much stronger today,
Far; yet she calls out when I have nothing left,
The fight in me she embodies, shows me a way
Even as I walk on paths that have now cleft.
…
%5B4%5D.jpg "Sun Breaking Through Clouds (400)")
Shrouded hilltops with layers of mist,
The sun now renders an ominous glow,
The greatest love, old stories insist,
Stem from the will to never let go.
He stands still, basking in God’s downpour,
Face - resolute, he can afford not a fail,
Rooted in belief, he is planted on the floor,
That with passing time, is seeming frail.
On the other side, look up eyes of hope,
She knows not the test he has embraced,
A wild heart; she watches bird flocks elope,
With a lull in the pour, clear air surfaced.
Their time is now, his heart consoles,
Stand strong; for it is the will to hold on,
When shards of pain pierce insoles,
They take you on paths lesser mortals scorn.
United by this hill, separated as well,
Two beating hearts cry out as one,
With passing hours, the rain does not quell,
Love clouds have mellowed the wrath of the sun.
…
