It wasn't the cold bullet
That pierced my heart,
Or the fact that you shot it;
It wasn't the motive,
The madness or the mart,
Whence you'd once bought it.
Many a blood drop had I spilled,
To see you spill but none.
Many a mean soul had I killed,
If fate cruelly had some fun.
It was none of these I died from,
None had potency, quite none ;
If only I'd heard the wise, some,
If only you weren't the one
...
It leaps in me and grows in time,
Your heart; for now and ever is mine,
I guard it well, I do my part,
I guard your heart, with just my heart.
It grows each day, this heart oft swells,
It makes more room for yours; here dwells.
Break it, you may; I'll take that risk,
I'll trade my beat for a beat more brisk.
Push me away, and I'll stand in line,
I'll wait for years, I'll bide my time.
Tear me apart, I'll smile through the pain,
I'll rebuild our house, you'll love me again.
We live only twice- as I, and as we,
I'll await our second union to be.
You walk away now; I'll mark your retreat
And when you return, my heartache will fleet,
Sleep will return, I seek it only here;
I seek it to forget you aren't yet near.
Yet.
…
I'm worried..
I'm worried that if you don't hear my voice, you'll forget the love that it bears when it calls your name..
I'm worried that when I see you next, you may not recognize me with my face torn by our separation..
I'm worried that people will know what a gem I've found, and they'll fall in love with you too..
I'm worried the rain gods will pour down to hide my tears, so much that our cities would flood..
I'm worried that my insanity would drive me when your love doesn't temper it down..
I'm worried the smell, that allure that draws me to you, will change in time..
I'm worried that the heart that echoes your name in each beat, will stop sometime..
I'm worried the distance will make you forget these times that I've loved you true..
I'm worried that time won't let you forget the distances we've made sometime back..
I'm worried if before my life returns, my breath shall collapse to a stop..
…
It's a shame I cannot tell you
Of the things I tell myself-
The restless dreams,
The hopeless yearn
For unforetold days.
It's a shame I cannot share
Freak joys that are abound-
The littleness of the big,
The largeness of the small
And our lives thereupon.
It's a shame you will not know
This ode I write of you-
The miseries of hearts,
The joyful dances too
In broken entwine.
It's a shame you cannot say
More than you do now-
The flicker of approval,
The ticker of skipped beat
In a quelled heart.
It's a shame we cannot be
Otherly to written fates-
The sameness of tomorrow,
The newness of past days
And our grind amidst.
…
Upon a clear morn I set out
To find the self I’d lost for long.
No further had I gone than
The stream that passes near
The structure that houses me.
I looked upon him clear as ever,
Staid yet in the flowing waters.
He looked back in equal intensity,
It seemed like I was the illusion,
And he who stared back, reality.
I tried to reason, to talk with
Sense that years brought in effort.
He would not listen; plainly put,
He spoke only when I chose to say
A few words and sought fewer.
Playfully around me, was all else-
The air, the birds, the fish et al
Unaware, blissfully, of conflicts
That reflect upon a clear stream,
But alas, only for so long today.
…
Let it be so, I'll wait some more,
I'll wait my time outside your door.
Days I've spent with your visage to keep,
A few more I'll wait, a little more I'll weep
For keeping away, isn't easy and yet,
Knowing the grounds that fate hath wet,
I’ll await the fragrance, lilting divine,
I will wait my time, till you'll be mine,
But till then await His mercy from above,
Till then bear mine; uncontested love.
Bent akin the light that flows
Upon her, and hence, gently shows
The radiance of the one I sought,
The girl I loved, affections fraught
With perils, that hence the world will throw,
And yet, we’re the union of two, we know
Best to make each morn, day count;
To begin to store little joys we’ve found.
…
