Inhale

 

 

I had forgotten the grey,
The dark of rising smoke-
Light form, dark nature.

I had forgotten the fire,
The blaze at the lit tip-
Smoldering, sputtering.

I had forgotten the warmth,
The coal pot ignited within-
Expansive, compressed.

I had forgotten headiness,
Losing oneself to find escape-
Evasive, uncertain.

I had forgotten the first rush,
The strong vapor burning-
Rising, dragging.

I had forgotten the feel,
The clasp between two fingers-
Textured, wilting.

I had forgotten the bow,
The head, accepting fire on lips-
Breathless, inhaling.

I had forgotten death,
The goodbye at the end of this-
Fiery, waiting.

But now I remember,
And now I accept,
And now I inhale
And exhale each breath.

…

So..

 

So...

What of the brewing and bubbling,
And brimming over of affections
That so clearly have you searing them
With fiery distance now?

What about the scars you hid all day;
The scars that were kissed, and
Only seemed to heal in touch,
Are hidden again now?

What about the tears you shed
Quietly, in the unseen corners
Through distraught corners of eyes
Wiped clear now?

What about the shared fragrance
That titillates in your absence,
Shamelessly obtuse to my pain,
Only more now?

What of the bottle of lotion white,
Resting restless upon my shelf,
In parting of your touch and smear;
Another lotion now?

What about the strands of hair
That pillows held back as memoirs,
Or taunts, that taunt in my sleep,
Additional now?

What about the books that lie
Dog-eared, bookmarked - idly,
In wait of fingers that folded them
To unfold now?

So...?

…

Frame

 

 

 

So many words to say, so many wounds to show,

So many words my heart had never let her know.

Unspoken in the air, is a guilt that now takes lead,

Warn my heart and yet, naive, it will not take my heed.

 

I watch her from where I stand, wondering what she feels,

If all of this is a dreamy frame hung on even keels,

The picture old calls for her who always stood by me,

And a dusty glass in the frame that will not let us be.

 

A heaviness in the chest will just not let it beat,

Mindless, this time too, the story should repeat.

So many words to say, so many wounds to show,

So many words my heart had never let her know.

...

Happened to see some very old wedding photos. What would it mean to lose someone who has been your everything for more than 30 – 40 years..? I’d imagine regret for not having said enough, not having showed enough affection, because honestly, nothing is ever just about enough.. She deserved more..